my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

Anonymous asked: How do dick pics make u feel?

ladyironlungs:

the-inspired-lesbian:

This is the fucking funniest thing I have ever seen omfg.

gifyourass:

How the world sees America.

dysphorism:

DO YOU EVER JUST

GET JEALOUS SO EASILY

LIKE NO 

THAT PERSON IS MINE

DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU

heyitszombii:

juako27:

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this post improved my life 501%

mothbug:

So a new species of snake (Pseudocerastes urarachnoides) was recently discovered in southern Iran.

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Its common name is the spider-tailed horned viper because its tail is literally a fucking spider. This salty motherfucker has a spider (well, a VERY convincing spider-shaped lure) for a tail. I’d try to get on its level but I don’t know if that’s even possible. 

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Spider snake. Snake spider. Nature isn’t even in the neighborhood of fucking around.